God knows where they come from, these chain emails that get passed along between us. I get a bunch of them from friends. Most of them suck. But every once in a while, there’s one that hits home. Here’s a cute one that I saved. I thought I’d share it with you.

IS YOUR KID’S HOCKEY TAKING OVER YOUR LIFE???

You base the next purchase of your new vehicle on whether it will hold six kids, six sticks, and six hockey bags.

You know the location of every Tim Horton’s within a 400 mile radius.

You relate directions to places by the nearest arena.

Knows every single kid on every single team your child has ever played on… But doesn’t have a clue who his school mates are.

You feel lost when you have a free weekend.

Your spouse waits until you decide where to sit and then chooses a spot on the opposite side of arena.

You become a partner in a skate sharpening business to save money.

Can justify complaining about someone who gives hundreds of hours of volunteer time to your son or daughter.

You ground your kids for a week (except for hockey practice).

Can rationalize spending $159 on a Synergy for a 9 year old but won’t spend $5 on a Birthday card for his wife.

When someone asks how old your children are you respond, “I have a ’94 and a ’97.”

Has had to use a grandparent to take kid #1 to a tournament because Dad was in a Different province with kid #2 at a tournament and Mom had kid #3 two provinces away in a 3rd tournament all in one weekend.

Has more miles on ’05 minivan than a ’66 Chevy.

Practices make up a very large part of your social life.

You buy gloves according to how loud you can clap in them.

You find yourself missing the parents of your child’s team mates during the off-season.

You refuse to make any plans with your friends until you check your kids’ hockey schedule.

Takes out a home loan to pay for all the equipment and expenses.

Plans birth of next child so he has a good hockey birthday.

New baby’s first word is Zamboni.

All computer passwords begin with “hockey” or contain child’s number.

Has been barred from more than one rink on more than one occasion.

Purchases new $135.00 stick because old one “didn’t have any goals left in it.”

Knows a few 5 year olds that are good but “lack focus”.

Has had kids ask if Christmas is “home or away”.

Asked to decide between try-out and first communion – asked church what his options were.

Received a letter from AAA Automobile Club and called for more info about tryouts.

. . . And boy do I have a t-shirt that perfectly compliments this blog entry. Welcome to the ‘I Have No Life (my son plays hockey)’ collection!